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My parents are getting to be old and depressed

Tuesday, June 04, 2013 at 11:47AM by Anonymous

My parents are wonderful people, they raised me with love and kindness, helping others when they could. This year they both turned 70. They started to act strange latelly and I don’t know how to react to it.

Father was always strong, and somebody I really looked up to. He was strong mentally and morally, he taught me to be a good, honest man, Never have I seen him cry, he always knew what to do. Recently however he became more quick tempered, and just overly sad. He always talks about how he got old, life is over for him and things like that, he even started drinking a bit, a few glasses of vine almost every day before bed.

My mom became depressed too. She cries a lot, she changes her mind every 2 minutes about things and she is just sad and I dont know why. They all look like all of their energy has been drained. They always talk about how old are they & that they cant do nothing they could before.

I know that they still love eachother, I just don’t knwo what can I do. Please if you had any experience with this tell me, I just want to help them somehow, to realize that life is not over yet and that they should be happy. Please tell me there is something that can be done about this. Thank you.

Replies

Parents depressed

Dear Friend. Start by sharing your observations with their Doctor. This could be a sign of a health problem, or of a new complication with one of their meds. You can speak on the phone with the MD or his nurse, and also ask that they keep your conversation private from your parents.

I think your spending time and talking with them helps them. They may be able to tell you more about their concerns. Listening helps.

A lot of elders are hesitant to ask for help. Encourage them to open up to your family, their friends, their church, etc about their challenges and to be open to accept help.

Be a detective next time you are at their house.  Is the house a mess, when it was always neat?  Do they smell, have unwashed clothes?  Is the fridge full of eatable food (vs ancient leftovers)  Is there a pile of unpaid bills or overdue notices?  All of these are signs they need help.  Signs that this is a bigger problem and you need the MDs help and it is time to develop a team of those who can help your parents.  

It is a long road. But it can be fulfilling to help bring your parents joy and to help them find the good in each day. Good luck .

In addition:

Also, in talking with the doctor there might be a change in condition recognized that would make them eligible for Medicare covered home health care services for intermittent visits. These services could including nursing, therapy (physical, occupational, or speech), & home health aide. Sounds like your parents might have less medically complexities as much as potentially emotionally. For extra emotional support, some people choose to get support from services through home care agencies (ideally the same company if provided coverage under Medicare). As mentioned above, support from their church & other volunteer options might be applicable if they can be consistent for your beloved parents, too. Wonderful that you reached out for help! We're all in this industry to do just that-help! :)

Advice for your parents

Hello,
Getting your parent to agree to a treatment may not be easy, but yes, I too agree that you should share this experience with your doctor and it is a sign of a health problem. If you want, you can take your parents for a routine check-up with the family physician. One of my friend's parents was also dealing with this same situation. He had consulted with the doctor, the doctor had said that modify some expectations during stressful periods by going through Hydrotherapy because Hydrotherapy can help to heal the mind in many ways and taking a warm bath at the end of a taxing day is one of the best ways to reduce stress. So, on the recommendation of the doctor, he had installed walk-in tub by the walk in bathtubs Spokane team. After the install, this tub had helped his parents strengthen the immune system, improve heart health and also helped to reduce their stress and yes I would suggest you that doing communication honestly with your parents can also help you and it is important for your relationship with your parents.

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